Do u always like what u see..?

Saturday, June 30, 2007

So I Lost Ma Burn Book...

Reflecting back to da times when I was a teenager compared to now... loads have changed. In particular, maself. I used to hold grudges a hell lot. Any disservice people do to me, I felt like I would always remember it till da day I die & would blacklist & 'cross' da individual completely... if u'd seen Mean Girls, u should know about da Burn Book & da purpose of it. I had that book kept inside of me.

But now, I can barely make any grudges I felt... last. Even if I'm pissed with someone, memories of da good times we used to have will flood back into ma thoughts, ending up with me trying to find ma own fault as to what went wrong.I don't deny that there are indeed people out there who's always up to no good, or people who always take advantage of da plight of others... but why do I always look for da good in people & not da bad? Am I turning into a moron of some sort, or am I just maturing?

Sham had told me I'm too naive & soft-hearted towards people who don't deserve it. I dunno why... I just can't hate people forever.One thing I still don't get it though. While I'm maturing, why is it still easy to forgive but not to completely forget? Not forget as in, like grudge, but to TOTALLY forget that it ever happened so that it can't hurt me? I don't really care how people feel about me. Whether they like or dislike me. I'm just thankful that Sham's belief in me has been unwavering for da past 1 year or so. Da day he stops doing that I reckon will be da day ma heart stops beating too.

You're probably frustrated, thinking, "Whaad? This girl is beating about da bush (AGAIN)." But I guess I don't need to spell everything out. What I've said in here, is da gist of what happened, and how I feel at the end of it, although I don't exactly pinpoint da problems or persons involved. It's enuff for me just to express it in this way.

:)

Missed by Anna... ♥
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