Tuesday, September 12, 2006
A Day Less Ordinary...As I'm writing this, I'm thinking, is ma blog turning serious or what??I hope not. Hopefully it's just a phase that'll pass soon. Cos I don't intend for this blog to be too serious or to be an avenue to reveal ma deepest secrets. It's meant to be a public blog after all.I woke up this morning... feeling peaceful but still, something was amiss. This feeling has been around for some time. I looked at ma watch, it showed 11.30pm. So late? Oh yeah... I helped out at a kenduri (a religious prayer session followed by a feast) da night before at Sham's place. Ok, so what actually seemed missing?I used to wake up to da sound of little patters of footsteps & kiddy chatters around me. An occasional peck on da cheek or da forehead too... followed by giggles of delight when I opened ma eyes... but now, that's all only just a memory... :( . I have also moved out. This time, for good.For those who've guessed, u're right. I no longer live with ma cabbage patch now. I only see her on weekends. Life is undergoing a lot of changes rite now. Ma divorce was finalised recently, and custody was awarded to her dad. Actually I was da one who gave him da custody...To friends who have strongly voiced their disapproval at ma decision, I have nothing more to say. U dunno what's ma situation rite now. I have irregular working hours & it's near impossible for me to take care of her for now... & ma mum has rheumatism, she can't chase after an active kid all da time too. While Yan's ( ma ex) parents are working during da day & they have a car... they could fetch her from school & there will always be someone to watch over her in the evenings. Of course, besides these technical reasons there are delicate ones too. Whatever it is, I only want da best for ma daughter & I want her to have a proper place to live in, & not follow me around moving from house to house. It's just... not ma idea of stability for a 3 year old kid.Of course, I know different pple will have different opinion on this matter. But please do not criticise, cos if u're in ma helpless shoes I bet u will do da same too. I miss her everyday. I really do. But I believe every bad things that happened, there's always a reason behind it. Who knows, she may even be raised better by Yan's parents than by us...I have only one thing to look forward to, and that is ma future. At least, I managed to leave a violent marriage & have a chance to start life afresh. And I pray that it's gets better for both me and ma daughter...And to everyone, before u de-link me I promise u that this blog won't turn too serious mmkay? Lol! (But hey, it's a REAL blog with REAL situations, so if I were to be de-linked just becos of that, I feel that won't be ma loss, but yours).PS: Sorry if I don't reply in chatbox. I'm blogging this one in da library, chatbox is filtered *shrugs*.
Missed by Anna... ♥
8:59 AM;
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