I'm scrambling against these train of thoughts that keeping dashing through ma mind. I know, 'scrambling' isn't exactly a good word to mean , but hey, at least I'm being honest about it.

Thinking about all da unspeakable things I've been through all these years has made me more or less a stronger person, if not better. But somehow, it sometimes make me timid. Timid as in being too cautious about da people around me now. Timid as in overeacting, not being trusting. I think it's true when they they say your friends are your greatest enemy - in ma case, da people who know you too well are your greatest nemesis. In the early years of ma life, I'd thought that was supposed to be a good thing, u know how u always thought that they will understand u better than da rest when they know u in & out..? But people learn da harsh truth everyday that this fact backfires on u.Maybe what I'm talking about has got nuthin to do with ma b-day , haha. Let's not go further into that rite now. It's rather redundant & maybe I was just feeling a bit philosophical.

I'm no longer da simple-minded, rather immature 21-year-old. I'm gonna be 25, but it's not gonna be a cause for celebration either. By now I must learn to get down & dirty with sticky situations bravely (although I already did in many occasions, I still think there's room). I have to learn not to procastinate too, hehe... this is one thing I've been working on. Have to learn to control ma temper even in da most nastiest situations (yea this is hard... so hard). The only 1 thing I have learnt to do 2 years ago? Not to bear grudges. And it wasn't easy to tell off da devil inside of me to stop hating & hating. Sometimes I thought I failed, but prayers after prayers before I sleep at night, I'd wake up da next morning to lesser thoughts of what happened to remind me of da hate that followed, which I'm so thankful for.

I only have one wish for ma birthday... and that is to have da feeling of absolute peace in ma heart always.

I believe that with peace, comes happiness. With peace, comes achievement. With peace, comes love. And with peace, da light in our hearts will guide us through every step of da way...

Someone told me before, it's of no use living a wealthy life but constantly worrying about your properties, and no use having a successful career but deep inside u're really an unhappy person & it shows through your daily actions towards others. So I took ma cue from there. Peace is da greatest gift anyone could ever have in their lives, and this will be ma ultimate birthday wish for 2008. Insya-Allah, I will get it, so long as I don't lose hope & keep praying to da ONE above....and I'm eternally grateful to Him for having Atikah, Sham & da real friends & people who care about me in ma life. Alhamdullilah.